An Abridged Beginner's Guide to BJJ for Women

By Meg

In BJJ, women face a slew of unique issues, and as beginners in this sport, your male coach is probably not your best source. Sure, he's got 50 ways to do an armbar, but does he know how to strap boobs down so as not to suffocate during inverted guard? Just for fun, try asking him.

In this post, we cover the bare bones of several issues and questions female beginners usually encounter, but might be afraid to ask. All topics have been or will be covered in more detail on our blog, but in the meantime, consult this abridged version!

What You Should Wear

A T-shirt and gym shorts are always acceptable. If you attend a gi class, you may be provided with the appropriate uniform. In a no-gi class, remember to wear long shorts or leggings. Think twice about low-cut shirts or just a sports bra. In BJJ, clothing gets yanked around constantly, and your boob popping out on some red-faced guy is a situation that should be avoided. Once you get started, you might decide to buy a rash guard, which is a tight spandex shirt that keep everything tucked in tight and comfortable. Larger-chested ladies might want to consider doubling up on sports bras. Remove any jewelry and makeup before class.

This lady has a nice double-braid combo going on to control her hair.

Hair Issues, Fixes, and Puns

Possibly one of the most annoying things about rolling is your hair. Stay on top and it's all dandy, but the minute you get caught, the situation gets…hairy. Ever see a woman go into a guillotine with a perfect ponytail and escape with an atomic explosion on her head? It looks something like those 80's trolls.

You're thinking, I'll just give up and roll with my hair free. No. It will fall into your mouth and smother you. It will slap people across the face. It will get stuck under your partner's knee, and you'll be left staring at chunks of hair on the mat in horror.

Here are some fixes women (and long-haired men) have developed, so you can roll without hair-rowing troubles.

• Cut it off: The most obvious but perhaps the scariest option. However, gone are days when you retie your hair during and after every roll. Check out some other BJJ gals liberated by short hair here.
• Bind it in braids: If you have long, thick hair, this option may work best for you. Be sure to keep them very tight, but using bobby pins is a no-no. Your partner won't appreciate getting stabbed by your hair accessories. (Et tu, Brute?)
• Place it strategically: In BJJ, you spend a lot of time with your head scraping across the ground. Whether you prefer a braid or Ronda Rousey buns, keep your hair high or low on your head.

Training on Your Period

With the flexible pads, sports tampons, and even this cup that we have today, training on your period is a non-issue. Exercise actually alleviates cramps and bloating, but keep in mind your body might be weaker during menstruation and cut yourself some slack if you can't perform as well as usual. If you typically experience a heavy flow, double up on products (e.g., tampon + pad) and wear dark pants, just in case.

Unexpected Things You Should Expect

Expect to fart on someone, and be farted on, and then laugh about it or start coughing as a cover-up. You're probably not fooling anyone though. Expect to get so drenched in sweat that you're not sure how much is yours and how much is your partner's. Expect that fateful, slow-motion moment when a drop of sweat rolls off your partner's nose and lands in your eye.

Train long enough and you will almost certainly encounter these gross situations. However, expect to feel stronger, braver, and more confident. Expect to feel badass.

How to Act

If you are taking time to read this post, I assume you are serious about BJJ, or at least you are not solely there to cause trouble. Women have made small strides in the BJJ world to be recognized for their hard work, dedication, and talent. When another woman struts across the mat in tiny clothing and smoky-eyed makeup then spends the whole class giggling and making vulgar suggestions about mount, it unfairly reflects on us all.

All personalities are welcome on the mat, and when you're there, please demand the respect other women have been chasing for decades. We still have a long way to go. Welcome to the team.

Meg started jiujitsu in 2012, got her blue belt in 2013, and has competed in five competitions.

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Building Respect

By Liz

This post was originally titled, “Building Respect as a Female Coach.” Meg and I are both coaches of primarily male students at our respective gyms, and thus feel we have unique perspectives and useful advice on coaching BJJ. However, I changed the title because I think the following is relevant to everyone, not just jiujitsu coaches. Because at the end of the day, building respect as a female coach is really about building respect for yourself as a person.

For a variety of historical, societal, and cultural reasons, women often find themselves struggling for the respect they deserve. As female coaches, we need to make a concerted effort to build rapport with our students because respect usually doesn’t come easily to us.

This post is meant to help with that by sharing some advice and experiences on building respect. I briefly talked about setting high standards, instilling confidence in others, and expressing compassion towards insecurity on the mat in a previous post. Here, I’m first going to discuss my thoughts on practicing courage and compassion by setting clear boundaries. Second, I’m going to share some practical tips on building respect and communicating value.

COURAGE AND COMPASSION

Building respect with your students is about striking a balance between courage and compassion. Or as I sometimes like to think, commanding respect is about being a chocolate-covered pretzel: salty and sweet at the same time.

What I mean by “courage” in this context is the act of firmly setting, clearly communicating, and consistently maintaining your standards and boundaries. Shout-out to Brene Brown and Kristin Neff (check out their books I’ve linked to here) for inspiring me in this arena.

First one needs to take the time to decide what the ground rules are going to be. For example, lateness will not be tolerated, and each student must do 1 burpee for every 1 minute they are late. No talking while I’m talking, and talking will result in getting kicked off the mat. Rude or inappropriate behavior will result in a firm talking-to after class.

Now here comes the hard part: sticking to your boundaries. This is the scary part for most of us. I know when I set out to punish a student, sometimes my voice gets shaky and face gets hot. It takes courage to put your foot down.

Think about any good parent, teacher, or coach you have had in your past. This is what sets them apart from the rest: they clearly communicated their standards, but also maintained their boundaries.

As soon as you let someone disregard a boundary you have clearly communicated to them, you show them that they can break rules with no consequences. You lose respect as an authority figure in that moment.

In addition to maintaining your boundaries, the other key to building mutual respect with your students is in setting high standards. I could keep going over mount escapes with my students every single week, but I make sure to keep them progressing through more and more challenging techniques because I know they can rise to the challenge.

By presenting them with a high standard and expecting them to live up to it, I communicate to them that I respect them as students able to execute challenging techniques, which instills in each one of them a sense of confidence and I gain respect as a teacher in the process.

After all, why should they try to raise your low standards if you communicate that you don’t believe in them?

There is one more crucial aspect to building respect as a coach: compassion. Setting boundaries is a key component of compassion. After all, how can you practice compassion with your students if they are walking all over you?  

Jiujitsu is an incredibly vulnerable and scary sport, and anyone who sets foot on the mat deserves major props just for trying it out. It’s a new thing for most people and so by approaching each person with compassion in knowing that person is insecure (because we all are insecure whether or not we’re on the mat, but especially on the mat), we engage in our shared humanity.

This does not mean letting anything fly because you feel bad for them. It means understanding that this person is going through a moment of suffering in insecurity, and to reach out to them with understanding, respect and kindness. Let them know they are brave, they are a valuable student whether or not they are “good,” and they are doing something good for themselves mentally and physically. Never forget your actions and words have the power to inspire or discourage other people.

Try reaching out to the new person on the mat to give them extra attention and praise, or show some advanced techniques to the top students. Consider publicly rewarding those who improve, help others, and try hard--not just the ones who can berimbolo or tap out fellow students.

COMMUNICATING VALUE

Building respect with others revolves around the following principle: people respond to you how you expect to be treated.

How does one communicate an expectation of respect?

We must first respect ourselves and approach our students with a genuine belief that we are high value. People can sense this. Your students can tell when you are shy or nervous, which shows them you don’t think of yourself as high value.

How can you expect anyone to respect you if you don't even respect yourself?

How can we cultivate in ourselves this notion of high value and effectively communicate our high value to others? We’re all insecure. So how do we get into the high-value mindset in order to establish respect from our students?

Here are some practical tips to get into the mindset that you are a valuable coach. This was actually adapted from a guide I randomly found on Reddit for pick-up game, but I’ve adapted it to fit my own life because I think it’s useful for all different kinds of situations.

1. Think positively and get into the persona

Create a persona for your jiujitsu coaching and force yourself to think this over and over (even if it isn't true yet or you don't believe it).

My persona is:

• I’m awesome
• I am a beast and master of jiujitsu 
• I frequently have people seeking my instruction
• My time is valuable and not to be wasted by slackers or disrespectful students
• Teaching jiujitsu is totally normal for me

Going back to the main principle I began with: people respond to you how you expect to be treated. So you need to develop a mindset of how you expect to be treated when you are coaching. What I expect:

• I’m here to have fun and learn from my students as much as they learn from me.
• My students appreciate my presence and my instruction; they are not late for class.
• My students respect me and are eager to learn from me; they do not talk when I’m talking or talk back to me. 
• My students are looking to me as a role model and are trying their best; they do not slack off during technique drilling or rolling.  

Drill these expectations in your head and respond to your students genuinely as if that is where you are coming from, even if you doubt yourself at first. This is a self-fulfilling prophecy: when you are expecting to find respect, you will start noticing the little things students do to show their respect--and you will be able to easily point out when students are actually disrespecting you.

You need to communicate to your students that instructing jiujitsu is completely normal for you. I’m not saying you should pretend you have all the answers when you don’t; it’s perfectly acceptable to say, “I don’t know.” But it’s important to communicate that you are totally confident when saying, “I don’t know.”

2. Not thinking negatively

Anytime you find yourself having self-deprecating thoughts, take 5-10 seconds and stop yourself. Take 5 minutes if you need to, but once you silence the negative thoughts, replace them with good thoughts and beliefs, using the above persona.

3. Memories

Make a list of your successes and your good memories of teaching and training jiujitsu. Maybe a win at a competition or a time when a student told you that you’ve inspired them. Lock those in and force yourself to remember them, and let them give you confidence.

4. The Process

Before instructing, get yourself into a good space. Relive your successes, and repeat your expectations and positive mindsets. Shut down any negative thoughts.

After the class, remember the session and again focus on your successes. Going through failures is fine, but once you think through them once, tell yourself, "I've learned everything I can from that, and thinking about it longer is just harmful," then shut it out. As you grow, focus on how much you have improved in your jiujitsu and your instruction.

These principles ring true for parents, teachers, coaches, friends, and significant others. It’s a balance between the salty and sweet, and one that can only be learned after making mistakes with mindful self-awareness. Believe in your high value and everything else will follow.

Liz has been training jiujitsu since 2011 and got her blue belt in 2013. 

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When BJJ Keeps You Up At Night

By Meg

While many jiujitsu practitioners find training helps them sleep, it has the complete opposite effect for others. Evening classes leave some people with their minds still running through techniques and their muscles still tense when they lie down to sleep. Everyone knows how to count sheep and heat up milk, but what do you do when those methods fail?

I've struggled with sleep for four years. BJJ is not the only culprit of my chronic insomnia, but I've collected a few tried-and-true methods of my own. If you struggle with sleep, BJJ-related or not, see if these sleep techniques work for you!

Desperate times call for something something...

Write It Down

Instead of drifting off, your brain starts working overtime. You picture and analyze each technique you learned that night. You obsess over things you did right and wrong during rolling. Before you know it, you've been lying awake for two hours.

Before it gets this far, switch the light back on and scribble down the techniques. Even better, if it's a common issue, take a few minutes to write these down before bed and avoid the problem altogether. Not only will you sleep better, but writing the information down helps you remember it later.

Soothe Your Muscles

Aches and pains always follow me home after training, whether it was a light session or not. If sore muscles are disrupting your sleep, take a warm bath or shower after training. This should be easy as you should be showering after BJJ anyway. If you take a bath, drop some Epsom salts in for an extra soothing soak. I also keep ibuprofen on my nightstand for neck pain and headaches.

4-7-8 Breathing

During a sleepless phase, my husband showed me a sleep aid method he had found online. Basically, this method causes your heart rate to slow down and promotes a better physical state for sleep to set in. Here's how it works:

1. Inhale through your nose for a count of four.
2. Hold this breath for a count of seven.
3. Exhale through your mouth for a count of eight.

Read more about the 4-7-8 method here. Some claim this method can put you to sleep in 60 seconds, which I think is completely bogus. However, it is certainly psychologically and physiologically calming.

Sleep With Me Podcast 

The guy on this podcast has struggled with insomnia himself, and he tells endearing, sometimes chuckle-worthy, but boring-enough-to-fall-asleep bedtime stories for about one hour. You can get the podcast on Stitcher or iTunes for free. Check out his website here.

ASMR, My Holy Grail of Sleep Aids

ASMR, or autonomous sensory meridian response, is described by Wikipedia as "a perceptual phenomenon characterized as a distinct, pleasurable tingling sensation in the head, scalp, back, or peripheral regions of the body in response to visual, auditory, tactile, olfactory, or cognitive stimuli." Many fans of ASMR describe it as a "massage for the brain" and compare it to meditation for its tendency to shut down stress and anxiety. ASMR includes a huge variety of triggers, like the sounds of whispering, crinkling plastic, or a brush gliding through hair, because everyone responds differently to different stimuli.

Give ASMR a shot. At first the videos seemed weird to me. I wondered if it was some fetish I hadn't heard of and thought it was silly. Fifteen minutes later, I was in one of the deepest, best sleeps I'd had in a long time.

Here is my favorite ASMR creator, Ally at ASMRrequests. Her YouTube channel features everything from hair salon roleplays to purely binaural sound videos.

So next time you try to catch some Z's after an awesome jiujitsu class and can't, I hope you try these methods and have some success. If you harbor some sleep secrets of your own, comment below and share your tips!

Good night, sleep tight, and dream of armbars, everyone!


Meg started jiujitsu in 2012, got her blue belt in 2013, and has competed in five competitions.

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That Time Jiujitsu Gave Me Herpes

By Liz

I’ll never forget the first time I got a skin infection from jiujitsu.

It was after I’d been training for two months. I was only training no-gi at that time. I noticed I had an itchy spot that felt bumpy on my back, but didn’t think much about it. My boyfriend at the time noticed it and mentioned it, telling me to have a doctor look at it if it wasn’t better in a couple days. A few days later, I asked a couple friends at the jiujitsu gym to look at it.

“That looks like herpes,” one of the guys said.

My jaw hit the floor. My heart dropped into my stomach. I felt dizzy.

“What?” I practically screamed.

They started chuckling. “Don’t worry, it’s not a big deal. Almost all wrestlers get herpes. It happened to almost everyone on my high school wrestling team. I have a staph infection on my back that comes back every once in awhile when I get stressed or don’t get enough sleep.”

I went through the rest of training, but I’m not sure how since I was freaking out internally the entire time. That night, I researched high and low on the internet about herpes gladiatorum while binge eating on ice cream. Some things kept coming up over and over again that almost gave me a panic attack: herpes is incurable and stays in your system for the rest of your life, and may or may not cause recurring infections when your immune system is compromised.

I went to the doctor. He took one look at it, said, “Yup, that’s herpes all right!” He prescribed anti-viral oral and topical herpes medications and it took about three weeks for it to go away.

That was four years ago and I’ve haven’t had another outbreak since (though I have had other viral and bacterial skin infections despite religiously showering after training and washing my gear properly).

I realized later it wasn’t as bad as I thought. As it turns out, the type of herpes that wrestlers usually contract is the same strain of the herpes virus that people who get cold sores have (Herpes Simplex Virus type 1, also known as HSV-1). I soon came to recognize that getting skin infections from jiutjistu is just part of the game. Besides showering after training, and following basic hygiene practices, to a certain extent there’s really no way around it. By stepping onto the mat you are accepting the fact that you are putting yourself at risk for skin infections.

Through exaggeration in the media, the government and the health care system (for various political and economic reasons) make STDs, especially herpes, have a very dirty connotation, and have effectively stigmatized people who get STDs. The truth of the matter is: herpes is a harmless set of tiny red bumps, whether they’re on your mouth, or back, or leg, it’s not life threatening. It’s a cold sore--annoying but not the end of the world.

I've also gotten warts on my feet- make sure you go to the dermatologist and then treat them consistently after that with salicylic acid. I had one other bad incident with skin infections. At an annual visit to the dermatologist, she noticed that I had molluscum all over my legs. I didn’t even notice because they show up as little red bumps and I thought it was from shaving.

It turns out I probably just had one or two of the molluscum bumps and then shaved my legs, spreading the virus all over. I had to stop doing jiujitsu, and go through various topical treatments for the molluscum, which included two particularly horrible and painful treatments, the details I won’t get into.

I wasn’t able to train for over a month while I tried to heal. I went a little bit crazy, which confirmed to myself that BJJ was essential for my mental health and I couldn’t live without it. “I guess I’m going to have to get my black belt now…It might take me twenty years, but it’s going to happen,” I thought to myself. “Because I’m never going to be able to stop doing this sport.”

It reminded me how difficult it can be when you are injured or sick to stop doing something you love. An injury or infection can throw you into a depression.

In this light, I have a couple tips on how to prevent infections:

• Cover all of your skin with long-sleeved rash guards and tights (though this is obviously not foolproof since viruses travel in sweat).
• Shower immediately after training.
• Go to the doctor and stop training immediately if you notice anything weird going on with your skin.
• Don’t freak out if you get herpes--it’s just another name for a cold sore.

Liz has been training jiujitsu since 2011 and got her blue belt in 2013. 

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Training in Thailand: The Heart of the Matter

Guest post by Sarah Tynen

Meg and I with Professor Olavo.

On our first day of training in Thailand, we walked into the mat room. It was a large, air-conditioned, L-shaped room with wall-to-wall cushy judo mats and motivating phrases such as “For just one day in your life, train with the will to die.” plastered on the wall. I scanned the room, quickly surveying the situation. Were there any other women?

In a class of about 20 men, there was one other girl there that day, a white belt in a pink gi, her long, blonde hair tied back in a ponytail. Near the end of our first training session on that Monday afternoon, I rolled with her once. She was tough: aggressive, feisty, smart, and technical. I caught her in one submission, a triangle.

After we rolled, we lined up against the wall, waiting to be chosen for the next roll, and she turned to me. “How long are you going to be here?” she asked with a big smile on her face. “Just a week,” I replied. “Oh, not long enough! That’s so short… there’s so much I could learn from you, it’s a shame you’re not staying longer.” I just grinned in response. Girl power for the win. Unfortunately I didn’t see her again after that day.

The next day during the noon session, a petite girl with four stripes on her blue belt (“That’s basically a purple belt,” Meg whispered to me during the water break) showed up to class. That day we were practicing the bow-and-arrow choke from standing back control, and the girl was paired up with a short but very large man. I ran up to her and asked if she’d like to join Meg and me. She said yes and joined us. She was friendly and warm. She then told us she had been training at PTT for a couple years. We'll say her name was Leslie. While we were practicing the move, I noticed that although she looked petite, she was actually very strong. Her jiujitsu was tough and technical.

After practicing that move for a while, we had sparring time, but neither Meg nor I got a chance to roll with Leslie. After we shook hands at the end of class, I asked Leslie if she’d like to roll. “Sorry, I’m really tired today,” she said. Then she added, “To be honest, I don’t roll with women. I don’t know why, I just have a phobia of rolling with other women.”

Say what now? You have a phobia of rolling with other women?

She explained, “I’ve had some bad experiences, and I just get really nervous. I just don’t know how to roll with other women, so I just don’t do it. It’s a serious phobia. I’m terrified of it.”

At that moment, Meg came running up and said, “Seriously, it’s so nice to meet you, I’m so glad you’re here.” Then Leslie broke the news to her: “I was just telling Sarah, I have a phobia of rolling with women. You can ask Professor Olavo. I never roll with women.” Olavo came over and related a story to us about how one time Leslie made another girl cry during a roll.

Somehow amidst the conversation, I clearly remember saying, “That’s totally fine if you’re not comfortable with it, I don’t want to pressure you,” but then I suggested flow rolling, so she said okay. We started flow rolling and about 30 seconds in, she said, “But you’re not even trying, you’re not even resisting me.” I replied, “Yeah, I’m flow rolling.”

She looked puzzled and said, “I guess I don’t really know how to flow roll.” So I suggested we could roll with more resistance, and she said okay. While we were rolling, things escalated really fast. She was going 100%, almost spazzing out on me, strong, aggressive, fast, but also a bit out of control. Before I knew it, her knee hit my jaw hard. She immediately stopped and apologized, “See this is why I don’t roll with women. It freaks me out. I get scared and anxious and then people end up getting hurt.” I shook hands with her, said it was all good, and told her not to worry. Feeling somewhat awkward, I excused myself and headed out.

Our Phuket Top Team nogi class.

On our walk back to the hotel, Meg kept saying over and over, “I just don’t understand how or why this is a thing.” Indeed, it was very strange. This is how I understood it. I have to admit that it is different and nerve-wracking to roll with other women for me sometimes, especially women of the same rank as myself. If she’s a white belt, then I don’t worry and I focus on technique. If she’s a purple belt, I know she’s going to dominate me.

But if she’s a blue belt, there’s a little inkling of competition, of anxiety to prove myself and my belt level (though I realized this is an unhealthy attitude, I have to admit I feel this way sometimes). I can’t make the excuse that she’s stronger than me or bigger than me. It’s woman to woman. My most intense rolls are always against other women, because women don’t hold anything back when they roll with me. And so as a result, rolling with other women is always an intense physical and emotional experience--a test of willpower and strength, as well as a contest of pure technique. My most technical and most physically intense rolls are almost always with other women. And if I get submitted by another blue belt, I have to admit that my ego walks away a little bruised. I think that might be the situation for Leslie, but 10 times worse.

Leslie showed up to class two days later. When Olavo asked her if she wanted to roll with Meg or me, she said no. That was the last we saw of her.

We were disappointed there weren’t any other advanced women to roll with at PTT, but we didn’t let that ruin our week. Professor Olavo was a passionate coach, who taught with enthusiasm and vigor (even though he had an ear infection). He showed a few techniques every class and then would let us practice on our own, walking around the room, talking through the moves step by step, meticulously correcting our mistakes, and helping us perfect our technique.

He embodied compassion in a very real way: even though he knew Meg and I were only going to be there for a week, he taught us as if we were family. His compassion while teaching touched both of us and made a big impact on our positive experience at PTT.

The week was physically exhausting but mentally refreshing. Having the time to train jiutjitsu two to three times a day while being surrounded by friendly, like-minded people with similar goals and interests was a really cool immersion experience.

Besides one negative experience with a substitute no-gi coach, who consistently and blatantly completely ignored Meg and me during class, most of the other guys on the mat were friendly and welcoming. We made a couple friends, got lunch together, and hung out at the pool at our hotel, chatting about training and jiujitsu. After one week of training full-time, we were so exhausted that we agreed one to two weeks of full-time training was enough. Though there were some other people there who had been training full-time at PTT for over a year and planned to stay longer, living the dream.

Potential next stop? Brazil.

Much-deserved beach day after a great week at PTT.

Sarah has been training jiujitsu since 2011 and is currently doing research for her PhD in China while coaching jiujitsu on the side.

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A Travel Guide to Training in Thailand: Phuket Top Team

By Meg

First day of a week-long jiujitsu vacation at Phuket Top Team.

Phuket Top Team (PTT) is a renowned Muay Thai and jiujitsu gym on Phuket island in Thailand with a friendly atmosphere and full schedule of classes. The gym operates just off Fight Street, formally called Soi Ta-iad, but Fight Street has earned its nickname for the countless rows of Muay Thai and MMA gyms up and down the road. Smoothie stands selling protein boosts, healthy restaurants, and spas also line the street, and fellow fighters smile and wave to each other while passing. The environment supports and compels fighters to succeed, and everyone is there for the same goal: to push, fight, and improve.

Muay Thai is available at just about every gym, but jiujitsu (especially gi jiujitsu) is less common. PTT and Tiger Muay Thai are the two biggest jiujitsu gyms on the scene. Sarah and I chose PTT, because it offered more gi classes and a few more hours of jiujitsu. Here is some practical information we collected during our week-long trip.

Get Around

Americans and citizens from other designated countries (found on the Thai Embassy's website here) don’t need a visa for their first 30 days in Thailand. Just be sure to pick up an arrival card before going through customs. If you’re planning on training in Thailand for more than 30 days, the gym will usually help arrange a long-term visa for you.

While living on Fight Street is fairly budget-friendly, getting there is a different story. A taxi between the airport and the street costs anywhere from 600-800 baht. If you travel at night, the cost gravitates toward the higher end. Sarah and I arrived at Phuket International Airport at 2:00 AM. To make things easier on ourselves, we had opted to have a taxi pre-arranged by the gym, which quoted us a price of 1,000 baht. The taxi driver waited for us at the arrivals gate (despite delayed arrival time), stopped by a 7-Eleven for snacks, and showed us to our room for only 800 baht. Expect the ride to be about 50 minutes.

Once on Fight Street, everything you need is within walking distance, and walking from one end of the street to the other may take about 30 minutes maximum. Get around a little quicker or explore outside the street by renting a motorbike. Motorbike rentals are available at PTT for 200 baht per day. For a month-long rental, rates hover around 2,000 baht in the low season and 3,000 baht in the high season. Ask for a helmet with your rental and remember to always wear it. It's common for foreigners to be pulled over and fined for not wearing helmets.

Meg with Professor Olavo Abreu.

Train

All information listed below is subject to change and can be checked at phukettopteam.com.

• When to Go: Consider training during the low season from June to November. According to the PTT coaches, the low season is significantly less crowded while still providing plenty of training partners and an intimate atmosphere. Alternatively, during the high season from December to May, jiujitsu classes sometimes host upwards of 50 people in a mediocre-sized gym with one coach.
• Price: There is a long list of pricing options available at PTT. For reference, a single class is 300 baht, one day of all-inclusive classes is 500 baht, and one week of all-inclusive classes is 3,000 baht.
• Classes: PTT offers Muay Thai, jiujitsu, wrestling, MMA, and strength and conditioning. Brazilian jiujitsu classes are usually led by black-belt Professor Olavo Abreu twice a day.
• Vibe: Despite often being the only women in training, Sarah and I felt welcomed the majority of the time. Most people were friendly, helpful, and chill training partners. After hearing intimidating stories about other gyms, this atmosphere was a big relief and a fun experience.
• Extra Costs: You might need to buy a few extras while training. Water is overpriced at the gym, and a large bottle costs 20 baht compared to the 13-baht large water at Family Mart down the road. Tape is also available for 80 baht in case of injuries.

Wrestling class coached by NJCAA collegiate All-American Derek Heckel.

Eat

We do not recommend buying the gym's meal plan. The food was delicious, but buying a meal plan limits you to eating onsite or else wasting that money. Many meals can also be bought cheaper offsite. After we arrived, Sarah and I bought bread, peanut butter, Nutella, oatmeal, yogurt, and other goodies to keep in our hotel room. This allowed us to eat breakfast and lunch in the room most days, which saved a lot of money and time. There are several small convenient stores along the street where you can stock up.

When you get bored of peanut butter, check out the stretch of restaurants and smoothie stands. For a boost of energy, grab a protein shake. Just look for a stand with jugs of protein lined up on the counter. Here are just a few restaurants we tried during our week-long stay:

• Ali's BBQ: My favorite restaurant by far, and a popular choice with everyone. Ali's offers clean, healthy foods like pitas, salads, chicken breast, yogurt, steaks, and more on an extensive menu.
• Tony's: Another popular venue with a large menu. The food was fine and reasonably priced but nothing to rave about, and the service was unfriendly. Nonetheless, it's an alright place to grab a bite.
• Cocoville Phuket Resort: We were told this hotel served fantastic breakfasts, but when we tried to go, the place was closed. I'm not sure if the venue was under renovation or what, but it might still be worth a shot.
• Anchan: We tried Anchan for dinner and breakfast. The alfredo and curry dishes were delicious, but the American breakfast was meager and overpriced. Sarah got the oatmeal pancakes, however, and thought they were tasty!

Enjoying a post-training meal at the gym's restaurant.

Sleep

As part of the training package, we chose to stay in an offsite budget room at 3,000 baht for one week. The onsite budget rooms seemed fine but, according to the website, don't provide air conditioning or private bathrooms. I did get to see the shared bathrooms, though, which are used by everyone using the gym as well. Despite that, they looked clean and well-kept.

The offsite budget option was hosted by a hotel called Baan Khun Yui. Air conditioning, a mini-fridge, hot water, and a television were provided. Guests also have access to a fully equipped shared kitchen and a large washing machine, which costs 30 baht a load. Also - drumroll please - the hotel has a modest swimming pool where we could unwind in the afternoons between training.

Relax

Don't miss out on the opportunity to ease sore muscles with an authentic Thai massage. The incorporation of stretching to a deep massage works out knots and tension, and just plain feels fantastic after hard training. We tried several spas for different services during our stay. Maria’s near PTT gave my favorite massage for 250 baht. Another popular venue is Wan Massage, where Sarah and I received lovely facials. The family of sisters who work at Wan were extremely friendly and enthusiastic about their work.

Here are some prices we found for various services:

• Thai and Oil Massage: 250 baht
• Gel Manicure: 400-500 baht
• Pedicure: 200 baht
• Facial Scrub and Mask: 400 baht

These prices required some bargaining, and a 50-baht discount is typical. Keep in mind everything is more expensive during high season (December-May) and cheaper during low season (June-November).

Fine sands, clear water, and six-pack abs on Karon Beach.

Play

Training is the goal, but on Sunday the fighters will play. PTT is closed on Sunday for rest and relaxation, so take advantage of the free day to see Phuket outside Fight Street. A 20-minute taxi (for 300 baht) or motorbike ride will take you to the night market, where you can buy everything from knock-off watches and phones to quirky T-shirts and knick-knacks. Also head toward the back of the market to find the food court: a plethora of Thai food and sweet treats like chocolate-covered bananas.

Another nearby destination is, of course, the beach. Phuket's fine sand and clear water can't be missed. Kata and Karon are both nearby beaches good for sunbathing and swimming. Kata is the smaller, less developed of the two, so we chose Karon for our beach trip. After a 25-minute, 300-baht motorbike taxi, we arrived at a long beach filled with people. Unfortunately, there was a large amount of trash, probably both dropped by tourists and washed up by the current. Besides that detail, the beach was wonderful. If you go, be aware there are no motorbike taxis available for the return trip. We had to hire a car taxi for 400 baht to take us back.

If you don't have time or energy to leave Fight Street and still want to blow off steam, there are a couple of sports bars along the street where you can get a drink and meet people.


Meg started jiujitsu in 2012, got her blue belt in 2013, and has competed in five competitions.

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Email us at liz.meg223@gmail.com with your questions, and we will post our answers in the next blog post!

The Bitch versus The Flirt

By Liz

How can a woman training jiujitsu be taken seriously, but not come off as a bitch? How exactly does one manage to be friendly, but not be misinterpreted as flirty?

As women, we can’t avoid the fact that we have to constantly negotiate the flirty versus bitchy personality dichotomy.

One of my close guy friends from the gym told me recently, “I thought you were a bitch when I first met you. You would barely look at me, let alone talk to me! I remember one day in particular we got to roll. I thought you were so awesome. I was really impressed by your beastly jiujitsu. I was like, damn that girl can roll! But you were kinda rude to me. You barely even acknowledged me! You acted like you were better than everyone else.”

I don’t remember the particular interaction that he was talking about, but I do remember feeling shy during my first year at that gym and not wanting to come off as a flirt. I also wanted to be taken seriously.

I didn’t know how to interact with the guys at the gym. I felt so much more comfortable with the women at my gym, and we would often talk with each other in the locker rooms after class. But with the guys, I was intimidated, sometimes creeped out, and sometimes just plain shy. I didn’t talk to them much during my first year at the gym. I wanted to keep to myself, but also self-conscious of my female-ness and didn’t what to come off as a flirt.

Now, three years later, I’m much more comfortable being friendly with everyone at the gym, and as a result I’ve attracted more than one unwanted (and wanted) admirers. I have also been accused by more than one person of being a flirt. I still have not successfully been able to master the skill of being nice but not too friendly, and being serious but not a bitch. If anyone has any advice on this matter, please do comment below. It’s one of the many challenges we face on the mat as women.

Doing jiujitsu is an activity that makes most people feel incredibly vulnerable at first. My experience has taught me to act the same way around the girls and guys--with genuine compassion and respect for the person standing in front of you. Not as an object, but as a human being with fears and insecurities just like yourself, as a person who just wants to be loved and accepted like everyone else in this world. Have fun, be a genuinely nice and caring person, and treat yourself and others with the respect and value they deserve, and everything else will fall into place.

How do I come off as serious and build respect from people at the gym by going my hardest without coming off as a total spaz--or worse, a total bitch?

Some people say the way you roll reflects your personality. I think this is true to a certain extent. As much as I hate to admit it, people have pointed out to me my passivity on the mat and in life. And I think they might be related.

Training partners often accuse me of not rolling hard enough or not being aggressive enough. Deep down, I really appreciate this because I know they’re just trying to push me to be the best I can be and they know I’m holding back. They believe in me and they know I can do better.

If am really honest with myself, I know that I am holding myself back during rolls much of the time. I know this because I roll harder at competition. This is mostly normal. I simply can’t train hard 100% of the time. But part of it is also a mental block holding me back from going as hard as I possibly can.

Sometimes with other women at the gym, I don’t go as hard as I can or should. Some of the women have called me out on this, and I love them for it. And I always go harder with them after they call me out on it, and I think they respect me a lot more after that… at least they tell me how proud they are of me when I roll hard.

Sometimes people at the gym don’t push people as hard as they need to be pushed. Women and men go light with smaller people because they don’t want to be that aggressive bully that everyone hates, myself included. But there is a delicate balance that can be struck. When you believe in other people, especially beginners, and push them hard, they will push back hard and will learn from it. They will appreciate that you pushed them to their limit. I love it when people push me hard.

One day I subbed in for the women’s class coach when she was sick. I went through the normal class routine, but in the last 10 minutes, we did some guard passing and sweeping live training. I pushed them hard, sweeping or submitting them every 30 seconds. But soon they responded with vigor and aggression, even managing to pass my guard a few times. We all left with smiles on our faces. In the classes previous, the coach had never let them do any live training, thinking that they couldn’t handle it.

I advocate for what Meg was talking about in her post last week: not spazzy, out-of-control rolling, but controlled, aggressive, and strong sparring. You will build respect from everyone around you for this, no matter your size or sex. Don’t hold yourself back because they’re a girl, or they’re a white belt, or they’re smaller than you or they’re your friend. Play your game and play it hard. Leave it all out on the mat, don’t hold anything back. Because all we have is this moment. 

So give it your all, because our mats don’t have space for people who are going to hold themselves back. The same goes for life: stick up for yourself with the controlled and respectful strength and confidence you know you have.

The same goes for the bitch versus flirt persona: treat yourself and others with respect and confidence, and others will follow in your example. Take the class seriously, roll hard, be friendly, and express genuine care for others. Your high expectations for yourself and others will show, and those around you will strive to meet the high standards you set for them--both on and off the mat.

Liz started jiujitsu in 2011, got her blue belt in 2013, and has competed in nine competitions. Although she is from California, she is currently training and coaching jiujitsu abroad. She’s learned through training that it's better to live one day as a lion than 100 years as a sheep.

Email us at liz.meg223@gmail.com with your questions or comments, and we will post our answers in the next blog post! Look for our posts on Sunday night EST every other week (every second and fourth Sunday of the month).

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