By Meg
During my first year of training jiujitsu, I rolled with everyone. I saw the spazzy or Jurassic-sized men as challenges. The bigger they are, the harder they fall, right? I certainly didn't back down from any man. Doing so would have marked me as weak and unable to keep up, which was a proud and self-inflicted pressure. I was always injured. Every month there was a twisted knee, fractured finger or toe, or biting neck pain.
In other cases, I just didn't want to be rude, and this stands true for many female jiujitsu practitioners. We can be hyperaware of others' feelings and generally aim to please. Have you ever been asked to roll by a person you were scared of, maybe by someone who has injured you before, and you still said yes? I hope you kicked his ass, but it's more likely you spent the entire time balled up protecting your limbs and just wanting it to end.
What would happen if you told him no? If you said, "I'm taking a break right now, but thanks." Or even more to the point, "Thanks, but I'm just rolling light today." It's very unlikely that he will walk away crushed and downtrodden. He probably won't even think twice about it. Not only do you avoid high risk of injury, but you also retain your enjoyment of jiujitsu.
The thing is, a spazzy and larger partner is not just harmful to your physical health. The damage goes even further than that.
Story time, fellow BJJers. Let me tell you about my moment of enlightenment with Ryan Hall. I visited his gym in DC soon after I received my blue belt, and since I was a fellow “hobbit" we had a couple rolls. I was nervous. I tried to armbar him and forgot the arm. Otherwise, it was a great experience and he leg locked me a lot.
When our roll ended, he looked me dead in the eye and said, "You need to start rolling with people your size."
He told me the more you train with people bigger than you and who overwhelm you with a size and strength advantage, the more rigid your game becomes. Your body's instinct to defend itself kicks in, and your muscles strain and brace, creating stiff, choppy movements instead of technique that flows. For example, instead of working to retain guard, you slam your elbows down and tense to protect your ribs from your partner's flopping guard pass.
Ryan could tell I had no regular hobbit-sized training partners after six minutes of rolling with me. He stopped me again the next day to stress the importance of choosing training partners carefully. If you ever visit Fifty/50, take some time to talk to him and especially his wife, Jen, who is also a black belt. They both have valuable advice.
To a point, your coach should be looking out for you. He or she should be able to spot the UFC enthusiasts who are fresh on the mat and raring to rip your ankles off, and then any match between you and said spaz should be stopped. If this isn't the case, consider having an honest talk with your coach about your safety.
Nonetheless, your coach will not always be there to protect you. Learn to say no for yourself. If someone approaches you for a roll, and he looks angry and out for blood, say no. If he is your friend but 30 kilos heavier and sloppy, say no. Even if you are in the middle of a roll, and your partner starts Hulking out and flipping you on your head, tap and bail.
Too proud to bail? Prepare for injuries and bad habits that you will almost certainly develop. Who's accustomed to being unable to bridge people off of you, so you don't even bother trying escapes? Yeah, I'll raise my hand here.
There's a chance all of your partners are bigger than you. No problem. You probably have a list, however short, of training partners you feel comfortable with. When it comes time to roll, take control of your own training and grab one of them.
It's okay to say no. Avoid being dramatic or accusatory. "No way, Bruce Banner, go smash someone else!" This is not okay. Spazzes and giants have feelings, too. A simple, "No thank you," will suffice and everyone goes home happy.
If you and I are similar, it might take a starry-eyed conversation with a BJJ legend, plus one more brutal stacking and neck injury to really get the point. It's an important lesson to learn though, because while it's thrilling to submit the big guy or triangle the resident misogynist and watch him flail until he taps, your health and the health of your BJJ game are much more important.
Meg started jiujitsu in 2012, got her blue belt in 2013, and has competed in four competitions.
During my first year of training jiujitsu, I rolled with everyone. I saw the spazzy or Jurassic-sized men as challenges. The bigger they are, the harder they fall, right? I certainly didn't back down from any man. Doing so would have marked me as weak and unable to keep up, which was a proud and self-inflicted pressure. I was always injured. Every month there was a twisted knee, fractured finger or toe, or biting neck pain.
In other cases, I just didn't want to be rude, and this stands true for many female jiujitsu practitioners. We can be hyperaware of others' feelings and generally aim to please. Have you ever been asked to roll by a person you were scared of, maybe by someone who has injured you before, and you still said yes? I hope you kicked his ass, but it's more likely you spent the entire time balled up protecting your limbs and just wanting it to end.
What would happen if you told him no? If you said, "I'm taking a break right now, but thanks." Or even more to the point, "Thanks, but I'm just rolling light today." It's very unlikely that he will walk away crushed and downtrodden. He probably won't even think twice about it. Not only do you avoid high risk of injury, but you also retain your enjoyment of jiujitsu.
The thing is, a spazzy and larger partner is not just harmful to your physical health. The damage goes even further than that.
Story time, fellow BJJers. Let me tell you about my moment of enlightenment with Ryan Hall. I visited his gym in DC soon after I received my blue belt, and since I was a fellow “hobbit" we had a couple rolls. I was nervous. I tried to armbar him and forgot the arm. Otherwise, it was a great experience and he leg locked me a lot.
When our roll ended, he looked me dead in the eye and said, "You need to start rolling with people your size."
He told me the more you train with people bigger than you and who overwhelm you with a size and strength advantage, the more rigid your game becomes. Your body's instinct to defend itself kicks in, and your muscles strain and brace, creating stiff, choppy movements instead of technique that flows. For example, instead of working to retain guard, you slam your elbows down and tense to protect your ribs from your partner's flopping guard pass.
Ryan could tell I had no regular hobbit-sized training partners after six minutes of rolling with me. He stopped me again the next day to stress the importance of choosing training partners carefully. If you ever visit Fifty/50, take some time to talk to him and especially his wife, Jen, who is also a black belt. They both have valuable advice.
To a point, your coach should be looking out for you. He or she should be able to spot the UFC enthusiasts who are fresh on the mat and raring to rip your ankles off, and then any match between you and said spaz should be stopped. If this isn't the case, consider having an honest talk with your coach about your safety.
Nonetheless, your coach will not always be there to protect you. Learn to say no for yourself. If someone approaches you for a roll, and he looks angry and out for blood, say no. If he is your friend but 30 kilos heavier and sloppy, say no. Even if you are in the middle of a roll, and your partner starts Hulking out and flipping you on your head, tap and bail.
Too proud to bail? Prepare for injuries and bad habits that you will almost certainly develop. Who's accustomed to being unable to bridge people off of you, so you don't even bother trying escapes? Yeah, I'll raise my hand here.
There's a chance all of your partners are bigger than you. No problem. You probably have a list, however short, of training partners you feel comfortable with. When it comes time to roll, take control of your own training and grab one of them.
It's okay to say no. Avoid being dramatic or accusatory. "No way, Bruce Banner, go smash someone else!" This is not okay. Spazzes and giants have feelings, too. A simple, "No thank you," will suffice and everyone goes home happy.
If you and I are similar, it might take a starry-eyed conversation with a BJJ legend, plus one more brutal stacking and neck injury to really get the point. It's an important lesson to learn though, because while it's thrilling to submit the big guy or triangle the resident misogynist and watch him flail until he taps, your health and the health of your BJJ game are much more important.
Meg started jiujitsu in 2012, got her blue belt in 2013, and has competed in four competitions.
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Email us at liz.meg223@gmail.com with your questions, and we will post our answers in the next blog post!
Email us at liz.meg223@gmail.com with your questions, and we will post our answers in the next blog post!
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